Back in January, while in motivation mode, I used one of those word generators that would help give some focus to my year, some area of growth to focus on. The generator supplied a word like failure, brokenness, or death– something along those lines. I quickly pulled back from the whole idea and reminded myself that I don’t believe in those word generator things, anyway. Funny because there is some ironic nod to what was coming next. There would be some dying to plans I held onto; some uncovering of things I didn’t want to think could fail; feelings that things have fractured in ways that will be difficult to repair.
Oh, the perspective six months can bring.
Summer plans…
About that same time, looking ahead to summer months, we intended for this to be a ‘quieter summer’ compared to cramming everything in like we did last year. But like you, we had no idea how true that would become. In our minds, that was still to include a couple out-of-state visits, pool times, gardening, working our beehives, and a 10th anniversary celebration. It felt manageable and needed after feeling like we got a bit carried away the previous year.
And here we are, nearly September. Some of those plans manifested. Many did not. Looking at my daughters’ school summer slideshow project, it seems she even enjoyed it. I’ll take it.
The plan for this year/month/week/day
Our kids started school last week in person which is a topic all its own. It’s not a decision we have taken lightly and I’m still not confident that there is a great option for students and teachers– even though I believe our school is doing everything within its power to keep our kids safe and maintain some sense of normalcy—if that can be achieved from behind a mask and without human contact. Although I am grateful for that, it is not a position I feel am emboldened to tell you or anyone else to make.
Deep discernment
I knew this year would be emotional for me with both kiddos in school all day for the first time, but this dimension has made me question myself constantly. The fact that they have named this need/desire for themselves has required me to dig deep for some willingness to let them have a say in their schoolyear since they’ve had blessed little say in any decision making since last spring. Knowing we can always choose online learning, we let them take this step back to school so they at least have a context for what ‘in-person learning’ means this year.
I’ve got a good, hearty respect for those who have decided to learn from home with their children and all that entails, not to mention the creativity of schools and teachers who are facilitating this work; add to that a new awareness of the serious amount of trust required of me to put in those in charge of our children’s well-being, and theirs of me. This is not limited to school faculty, but the entire school community to discern what is best for their children, when to send them and when to keep them home. It feels a lot like sending our beloved ones into a living experiment and that is honestly testing my limits. It also smacks of a deeper sense of community where my choices literally can/will affect so very many other people and I hope the gravity of that truth is felt all around.
On a deeper level, this feels like a place worth operating from on the regular.
Signs of life
At school pickup on Friday I walked by two distinct parents donning t-shirts that read: “#Blessed” and “Embrace the suck.” I had to laugh. We’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve been given. That said, I have noticed a couple of signs of life that are making my heart hopeful:
1. Kids are biking to school(!!!)
With all of the rigmarole with morning and afternoon drop-offs and temperature checks, families are figuring out that where possible, it pays to walk/bike. While this does my hippie, planet-loving heart good, this is also a hopeful sign. While I and so many of my parent peers at drop off fit squarley into the ‘millennial’ category, kids on bikes (without chaperones) tend not to fit into the millennial parent context. The fact that every child is not being shuttled from place to place, but getting to experience the joy and independence, not to mention exercise, that getting from place to place brings, is a move in the right direction.
2. Kids are making new friends like their lives depend upon it—because in some ways they do.
My husband and I have been around and around on this. There are so many things our kids want to do that we say no to for one reason or another, so why are we consenting to their desire to go to school when there are perfectly good reasons not to? No matter that our pediatrician encouraged us to send them, what matters more is that they have articulated a desire for community and camaraderie that they haven’t experienced outside of their home in nearly six months. If we can’t listen to and honor their request for community and socialization in the school setting, in all seriousness, where can we? They’ve got a read on what their social child hearts need, and it is others.
3. Kids have considerably lowered the bar on their expectations — and heightened their creativity.
In the past, summer has basically meant unstructured play, family visits, camping, and attending any and every free day option from the Science Museum to the Botanic Gardens. Add in some BBQs with friends, and we can pack the days and weeks full.
Having swept most of these options from the table, and upon realizing it wasn’t just our house that was suddenly skipping every event on the calendar, they accepted it. Instead of making grandiose plans at breakfast about what we should do today, only to be disappointed by remembering that that place is no longer open, they settle for playing in the basement, going to the park, running through the sprinkler. Not only did this take the pressure off as the one entertaining the troops, but it feels like a healthy step back for any one of us who seek near constant entertainment. This time is proving to be an introduction of sorts to the enjoyment of simple things.
4. Kids (and lots of other people) are writing letters.
Fitting, as the US Postal Service struggles to keep its head above water, folks have seemingly re-discovered not only the importance of communicating by letter, but the joy in receiving letters. We have had pen pals, chain letters, and post cards, flying in and out of our mailbox as a different mode of communication—and a sneaky way to slip summer school into a creative morning of play.
None of these hopeful signs makes me less lonesome for normal, but they do point to a possibility that although ‘normal’ may not ever look the way it did, there is reason to believe that we just might be better, not worse, for the wear.
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In case you didn’t get your financial fix from my last piece, stay tuned this week at Blessed Is She where I’ll be sharing a bit more. In related news, we’ve now participated in both the Faith and Money Matters Bible Study as well as the Journey of Generosity online retreats, and would heartily recommend either (probably the Bible Study first).
Lastly, whether or not you are homeschooling, home-Massing, looking for a way to make Sundays stand out from the rest of the week while you work from home, or are in need of ideas to help explore the Sabbath, the Sunday Fun for Faith-Filled Families is available online for $2.95, or make it available to your entire small group/home school network/parish for $9.95. Humble thanks from me to you. (Click below).
